Python Is The Language Of Sex

Python Is The Language Of Sex

I remember a time when sex on the internet seemed exciting, that was before I started paying my rent with it during my coding apprenticeship. I have since seen way too much naked skin, and run too many curation blogs, automations and scripts to think anything more than „meh, titties“.

But that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t been fun, stupidly fun even to automate all kinds of workflows, build websites, run a huge network of automated Tumblr blogs – them were the days.

So in today’s post I want to explain why Python will forever remain the language of sex for me, and showcase some of the use-cases that I have automated using it.

Python & Selenium are a match made in heaven

In case you are not aware, Selenium is a browser automation tool that can be used to do anything automatically that you could also do manually in your browser. That means you can take all those incredibly tedious tasks, and automate them.

Coupling Python and Selenium is one heck of a powerful tool, and not that hard to learn. Basically you can record your workflow once using the macro editor, then export Python code directly and exchange some hard-coded strings for the variables that you need. Voila, now you can do things like taking a huge list of post urls and reblogging them, shuffled and with added captions and backlinks to your website.

This worked on Tumblr then, and it works on sites like bdsmlr now, which is basically Tumblr like it always should have been, despite the ill-chosen name. You can automate Twitter this way, but I use a service called twittimer in the middle, and automated that since „I want to make sex stuff“ surprisingly didn’t get me twitter API access.

So now I sit here with a little Python-based solution that only requires me to run a set of scripts every other week or so, and my queues are always filled, always random, my accounts slowly growing without me having to do any further work.

Sharing content online is tedious, but doesn’t have to be

There are sites online, boards and forums, and you can share content to all of them. But who wants to do that, dozens of time a day?

Sites like Zapier or IFTTT make this task reasonably quick, but it’s also always immediately noticeable when someone automates their social media sharing this way, since you do not have access to randomizers.

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With Python however, you have everything you need, and more. You have access to RegEx, randomizers, text replacements, you can even use things like Spintax to ensure that your titles and captions and stuff always look reasonably human-made.

All of these things are literally just five minutes away from you having the idea to it being implemented in your script, especially since all of them can be imported as ready-made PIP packages. With Python you either have ready-made APIs and wrappers (like PyTumblr and PyTwitter) or you use Selenium again, and automate all those sites that other people can’t since they do not offer standardized access. SexCom for example is a great place to share content, but it has a horrible UI and the only way to automatically import things via RSS has been broken for three years now.

Python is great for error-prone tasks

With the kind of work we do, nothing is ever truly stable. Video links in your spreadsheet disappear from the platforms, whole platforms disappear, and this or that.

But Python has strong options for error handling, at the easiest you can put your processes in a try-catch block and simply accept when things go wrong, then skip to the next one.

But even better, you can build processes that pre-check if a list of urls contains invalid / broken links, you can create reporting and stats and daily alerts – whatever you need.

Python & spreadsheets are amazing

Since Python comes with a great Google Sheets integration you can do all kinds of things, since that is basically your cloud-based database solution. I have a number of scripts that are connected to spreadsheet columns, like niche-based blogs that automatically pull the newest list of urls each time I run the script. That saves a lot of work with manually copy-pasting lists back and forth, and allows you to keep everything structured and balanced, as all things should be.

In addition to that, you can run statistics checker (again, I love how Selenium allows you to pull stats from activity feeds and the like) and paste them to a spreadsheet. I have a daily stat report for all my blogs and sites, also pasted to a spreadsheet but I could easily have it sent to me via email or similar workflows.



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